Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
