VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
