Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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