i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
