do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
