He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
