3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
