based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
