a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
