Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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