I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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