i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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