I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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