The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
