Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
