I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
