If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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