I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
