This dress was meant to end up on your floor
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
