ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am midnight drunk by noon
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
