In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
