i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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