U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
