We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
