I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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