bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sext me about skeletons
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
