Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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