Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
