Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
