they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
