I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
last night I used snow as a chaser
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
