you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
