After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
