i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Farmville is her only friend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
