I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
