How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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