Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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