she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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