apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
