Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
