The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
