My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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