just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
