is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
