Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
