Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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