How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
