it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
