I saw his package. It spoke to me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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