Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
