He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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