I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
