before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
