Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
