she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
