I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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