She said her name was "party"
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
